THE THOUGHT

It was 5 a.m. on a Saturday, everyone still asleep. I came downstairs to write, coffee brewing, and noticed the stillness of our home—the same home we'd spent almost a year searching for, dreaming about. Now, just months later, the thrill of finally finding it has dissolved into routine.

Strange how quickly monumental milestones blend into everyday life. Has this happened to you—chasing dreams, only to recall them later with faded thoughts? And what about life's most painful moments—do they fade just as quickly?

In an earlier letter, we explored habituation, how repeated experiences become routine. But what about singular, life-changing events—both joyful and painful? Why do they, too, lose their emotional weight over time? How does happiness really work?

THE DEEP DIVE

Why Happiness is Built to Fade

The fading of excitement—whether from a new home, career breakthrough, or personal milestone—is explained by a tendency known as hedonic adaptation, or hedonic treadmill. Unlike habituation, which diminishes repeated experiences, hedonic adaptation specifically describes how we return to baseline happiness after significant life changes.

The idea was first studied extensively by psychologists Brickman and Campbell in 1971. They found people who experienced major events, like winning the lottery or becoming paraplegic, typically returned to their original happiness levels after an initial spike or dip. Essentially, our emotional highs and lows are temporary, and we recalibrate surprisingly fast.

This adaptation occurs because humans are remarkably resilient, continually adjusting our expectations and desires. While it helps us move past negative experiences, it also shortens how long we savor positive ones. Often, we assume lasting happiness awaits us in major milestones, but excitement inevitably fades, nudging us toward our next pursuit. This explains why reaching significant goals often leaves us slightly unsatisfied.

But hedonic adaptation isn't a flaw, it's a protective feature. It prevents endless complacency after successes or prolonged emotional paralysis after setbacks. Rather than a trap, the treadmill keeps us moving, continually driven to grow and evolve.

THE PRACTICE

Stepping Off the Treadmill

Realizing how quickly happiness fades inspired me to experiment. Here are three approaches I’ve found helpful:

• Stretch the moment: Instead of immediately moving to the next goal, I've started pausing to appreciate the details. Reflecting on how long I'd dreamed about a milestone helps the initial joy linger longer.

• Recall your "before": I've begun revisiting how life felt before accomplishing something significant, reminding myself how deeply I once wanted what I now have. This practice restores gratitude and interrupts the cycle of adapting too quickly.

• Notice happiness spikes: I've started writing down moments of excitement or satisfaction as they happen. Revisiting these notes later reveals patterns, reminding me that happiness doesn't vanish—it just shifts form.

Hedonic adaptation isn't something to resist, but understanding it helps us appreciate meaningful moments more deeply. Small interruptions in routine can renew joy and reconnect us to the milestones we pursued. Give it a try!